im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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