What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
