That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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