weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
