Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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