Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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