rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
