what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
