We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
