"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
