Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize