What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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