walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
