considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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