It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
