Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
