My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
