I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize