he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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