wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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