Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize