My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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