Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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