she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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