I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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