my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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