i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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