Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You are a genius and a whore.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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