So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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