Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
