You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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