What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
