every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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