so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
