Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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