you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
