He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
