No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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