Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
