can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
