There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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