..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
