I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
