She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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