He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
