if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
