I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
