Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
