...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize