bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
