Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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