Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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