I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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