Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
