A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready