Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital