yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud