the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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