I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes