It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
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Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
YAS. BRING CRAB.