i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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