i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
After last night, I could never be a politician.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
