he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
