Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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