I think i peed on brittanys purse
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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