Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
