found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
