he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
