that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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