the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am spending my child support on dildos
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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