Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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