There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
