so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
